As I’m sure anyone who has run a small business will be aware, it gets bloody annoying when the phone rings only to have some clown on the other end of the line trying to sell you something, rather then making a genuine enquiry for your services.
So instead of moaning about it I’ve found a great way to make the calls more amusing for myself.
Here’s how this mornings conversation went:
Clown: “Is that Obsessive Vehicle Security?”
Me: “It is indeed, how can I help you?”
Clown: “Can I speak to the owner of the business?” (This is the normal give away!)
Me: “No he is not available to you, would you like to pay for an appointment to speak to him? Or would you like me to deal with your security requirements?”
Clown: “I’ll call back later then.”
Me: “OK, but please understand that appointments cost NZ$2,000.00”
Me: “You can only speak to the owner if you pay NZ$2,000.00. Would you like the bank account details to make the payment?”
Clown: “No you have to pay me.”
Me: “You’re not very bright are you? Do I need to point out that you just called me?”
Clown: “Derp Derp Derp”
It’s the next best thing to actually shooting them!